The Joy of Surrender

 Standing in the bed of the truck with my husband by my side, we hung on tightly while enduring the bumpy and washed out road.

The children came running at the sound of our vehicle. Standing by the edge of the road and awaiting our passing, they’d smile and wave. “Mzungu!” they’d yell, which means “white people!”

We waved back with smiles on our faces. How could anyone help it?

My heart was full as uncontrollable tears poured from my eyes. I tried to wipe them in a discreetly fashion, but it was pretty obvious that I was crying. I sighed as I took it all in. “I’m in Africa. I’m riding the bumpy roads, and I’m waving at the children I’ve been dying to visit.”

How can this be?

Days later, while having some quite time with the Lord, I listened to a song that just happened to come on my playlist. It was called “the Joy of Surrender” by the Upper Room. I stopped as I listened to the words the singer spoke:

“Just like it was the first time when we gave our lives to you – we said we’d give our whole lives – we say it again, again – Jesus, we surrender our whole life! This is the joy of surrender!”

How I connected with those words! That was my story.

It brought me back…

I was twelve years old and I wanted to give my whole life to the Lord, but I was afraid. I wrote in my journal:

“God, I want to give you my whole life, but I know that means everything, and I’m afraid. What if you ask me to go to Africa?”

A couple of weeks later we had a worship night for our youth group. There was such a strong presence of the Lord that night. I felt like I needed to get alone, away from friends and just get alone with God.

I faced the wall and I began to talk to Him. I probably looked ridiculous, a twelve year old girl just talking to the wall. 

But I knew He was there. 

“God, I know that if I give you my whole life, it means everything. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what You’ll ask of me. But I know You love me, and I trust You!”

Something changed in me in that moment. I told the Lord He could have all of me – I didn’t want to live in fear anymore – I wanted Him to have my whole life and I was willing to go wherever He asked me to go.”

In my twelve year old voice, I shouted “I give you my whole life! I surrender all! If you want me to get on a plane and go to Africa, then I will! I will get on that plane and I will go! I love you, God!”

All in a moment the fear was gone! It was like a weight lifted and I was no longer afraid! There was peace… the peace that “surpasses all understanding.” Or like my friend Caitlin says, “the peace that doesn’t make sense.” This peace was now mine!

I knew His love was too wonderful and I said “yes!” All the fear, I surrendered it all. I gave Him my whole life!

This was the joy of surrender!

As that song took me back and reminded me of that moment, I just laughed, and I cried. I’m overwhelmed with joy as I stand here IN AFRICA! I laugh because what was once my fear became a desire, and what became a desire become a reality. And that is so the Lord. He takes what we are most afraid of and He turns it into something we long for, and when we step out He makes it happen.

I'm standing on African soil, but the journey here began long ago when I surrendered my whole life to Him.

This is something I had to share! For anyone reading this that may struggle with the fear of surrendering your whole life to Jesus, let me just say - it’s been my best “yes.” Full surrender has resulted in an insurmountable joy. The kind that causes one to sit back and laugh with uncontrollable tears.

The Word of God says we will overcome by the blood of the lamb (Jesus) and the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11). May this testimony encourage every person reading this. 

God bless!

-Mckenna